This song came on while I was touching up a painting job in my bathroom. I started this paint job in May (fact it is almost October). Later in what I had hoped would be another home decor success, I received two area rugs that were not the right sizes. However, before all this I finished a library book on the due date which meant for once in my life I wouldn't get fines. Growing up is hard. My Jesus year is my band-aid year. What is a band-aid year? It is the year, I persist through fears and frustration to see where I stand in a lot of important but usually neglected areas of my life (mainly health and finances).
The band-aid year hasn't been that fun. I lost my all savings on a car repair this month. In the next 6,8, 12 months my beloved White Lightning will need to be repaired (truth is hard). The news about my health is not amazing (basically all the Bojangles, Cookout, and addiction to the white stuff aka sugar caught up with me) and I have to make lifestyle changes. Different hiccups have pushed back my desire to be a dog owner. Often I feel defeated by it all but, in the words of The Revivalist "you gotta keep going, keep going, keep going."
So here are a few blessings to count so far in Band-aid year. I had savings in my account when I needed a huge car repair. I have been meal planning for two weeks. I learned how to broil. I took a risk and tried out a new hairstylist in NoVA. For two weeks straight, I turned in my library books before the due date. I have a trunk full of clothes I don't wear, don't fit, or don't like and books I won't re-read to donate. I made a budget and then at the end of the month, I reconciled my budget with what I spent. I've been making up my bed. I am making and going to doctor appointments. I still push through Couch to 5k and am now signing up for races every other month. I know longer sleep with technology. I have a bed time. I am learning slowly to say "No" and to have boundaries.
My dad told me that "It takes your whole life to get your life together". Not the greatest assurance as I try to figure out ways to rip off band-aids, become responsible, and keep my head above water. Two months in to this intentional band-aid year those words are a comfort to be patient with myself, to count the successes, and to persist and not to be so hard on myself.
"Don't be so hard on yourself, no
Learn to forgive, learn to let go
Everyone trips, everyone falls
So don't be so hard on yourself, no
'Cause I'm just tired of marching on my own
Kind of frail, I feel it in my bones
Oh let my heart, my heart turn into stone
So don't be so hard on yourself, no"